9 Nov

from: BlueInkPen.tumblr.com. (link: http://blueinkpen.tumblr.com/post/12189084422/over-analyzing-trick-or-treaters) Check her out! She’s amazing. she has such deep thoughts and interesting reflections about everything 🙂

Over-analyzing Trick-or-treaters.

i was assigned the task of handing out candy to the kids tonight, which i didn’t mind doing, since i wanted to see all their cute little costumes anyway. i was trying to be “the cool house”, so each time a kid would come, i’d be like, “aww, hi sweetie pie, what an adorable costume” with all the southern-white-lady-enthusiasm i could muster, and then i’d tell them to take as many candies as they wanted.

gosh, most of these kids were so polite. they’d only take about three candies, and they’d thank me about three times, one for each candy probably, and they’d walk off, maybe even turn around and shyly say happy halloween, then wave a bit. then i’d hear them tell their mom, sister, baby-sitter, or whatever those female humans were, that the nice lady let them have as many candies as they pleased. tickled my heart, these young things did. haha, i pulled an unintentional yoda.

but there was this one girl. ohhh man. okay, so there was this group of middle school girls with matching neon green-and-pink fairy costumes. i went through the same modus operandi as i had been doing all night, but this one girl’s like, okay, so she takes about four large handfuls and the other girls take about one or two candies each and thank me, and then that girl takes another large handful. i was like damn, you audacious little woman! well, silently in my head, because after all i did say, “(cue in southern lady voice) take as many as you want!”

despite all the curse words circulating in my head, my heart was telling me that though she might lose some friends, this girl will totally go far in life. in a sea of wozes (is that how a plural of a given nickname ending in z is written?), she was the one with an aggressive steve job complex (well, steve in his earlier days). she takes what she wants, even at the expense of others, and she doesn’t feel too remorseful about it, whereas most of us have been conditioned to respect boundaries and not take advantage of those around us.

i’m not advocating that people should go about stepping on other’s toes and stuff, i’m merely arguing a point. these people know what they want, feel themselves worthy of it, and like the momentous boulder in indiana jones, nothing can get in their way. other people’s feelings aren’t even obstacles for them. so if you don’t care too much about culminating friendships, and you always want things done your way, you’ll probably get them done your way.

it’s difficult for me to demand things from people, and though people may regard this trait as “kind-hearted”, i know it’s one of my greatest shortcomings. i often don’t feel like i deserve having others go out of their way for me, and when they do, i get embarrassed. but if i do start believing i’m worth it, and am able to demand things from others that are within reason, i’d get much further, much faster, because i wouldn’t just be sitting there trying to do or accomplish everything by myself. there’s definitely a proper balance and i’m gonna try and find it.




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