Let Autumn Bleed Her Beauty (Bleeding Autumn), an original poem

28 Feb

As autumn trees bleed, suffer, and die —

We marvel in their beauty,

Thinking naught of desperate survival

And silent, stone-cold death.

Autumn bleeds its beauty,

The crisp, fresh, innocent youth is gone,

Making way for the old and the strong,

The strong-willed and strong-hearted,

The ancient, bloody, and dead.

How cruel it is, for beauty

To be gained and seen only in death.

Their royal robes of green,

By cruel frost and wind are

Cast off and burned,

Ripped and tattered,

Freckled and splattered,

With red gouts of blood,

Crimson tears of living sacrifice…

Condemned to their one last

Dance with the devil.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An original poem, by Tiffany Huang.

~~ Commentary ~~

This poem was supposed to end at the “Crimson tears of living sacrifice”, but then I wanted to talk about when the leaves are cast off and fall off the tree, all they are given is one last dance, with the devil, and in their case, the wind, as they fall.

I don’t know if it was clear, and usually I really don’t like explaining my poems, but I feel like this one was kind of unclear and it could be interpreted differently in a way I didn’t want it to be, because “Dance with the devil” is such a cliche, that I don’t want it to ruin the ending. Is there something else that could express the fall to death better?

I wanted to put in things like “Spiral of death” or “naked but clothed in blood” or something like that… but I couldn’t fit it in there.

If you like it without the last two lines, tell me.

Which one do you prefer? I personally think it’s more powerful and the imagery is more strong if I end with the “Crimson tears” and “living sacrifice” part, but

I like how I’m writing this when it’s not even Autumn, or close to Autumn. Is it even Spring yet? Hmm. I guess I’m just morbid and thinking of death all year round, and I just can’t get my mind to acknowledge Spring! Ha, ha.

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2 Responses to “Let Autumn Bleed Her Beauty (Bleeding Autumn), an original poem”

  1. eri March 1, 2012 at 4:05 am #

    Haha. Hi tiffy. So I’m reading your blog. This poem is so morbidly cynical. Trees aren’t loosing their beauty and dying; they’re merely evolving with the year, and the green will come back again. Plus, they’re always pretty, even in the winter when the branches are bare.

    but me gusta the poem 🙂

  2. cherryblossomraine March 1, 2012 at 4:32 am #

    haha, merci! yup, trees are pretty all year round, but especially so when it’s autumn. or, if they’re fruit/flowering trees, in the spring/summer.
    heyyyyy I like to keep the death 😛 for the trees its suffering and trying to survive the best they can by getting naked. (wow that sounds incredibly wrong) but for the leaves they’re dying. 😛 the trees’ leaf babies are dying!!!
    xD

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